Emma Hale Smith and me
Emma Hale Smith, the wife of Joseph Smith, was judged and condemned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints because she chose not to go west with Brigham Young, Joseph’s successor, as his plural wife.
I married a descendant of Brigham Young, and let me tell you, that is not a lineage that you want to be involved with unless you want to be polygamous. Their preferred method for controlling their sex drive is simply to find another sexual partner, redefine marriage, and then abandon the first. Thus, they are endlessly looking for younger women. If polygamy is your thing, go for it.
Brigham Young left Emma with massive debt that Joseph took out in his own name, but then used the funds for church purposes. She bore the brunt of raising the children — including a son who was mentally ill — and paid off all of Joseph’s debts, losing everything in the process. Eventually, she married a wealthy local businessman, and raised his children, including illegitimate children that he fathered while he was married to her.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints never recompensed her for her sufferings. Brigham Young simply outmanoevered her legally, using the funds that were donated by church members, while she impoverished herself trying to follow the local laws. Brigham ran away from those responsibilities. Just like he did with his last wife — the one that he divorced — he twisted the law for financial gain.
First he was married to her, but when the court required alimony, then suddenly it wasn’t a legal marriage.
I’m in the same situation now. My wasband, who quit his job in 2018 to go live with his new wife, cashed out our pension at the time, leaving me without adequate retirement, in my 50’s. He then filed to reduce alimony, quit paying the alimony that he was already ordered to pay, abandoned our mentally ill son in another city, and went on vacation with his new family. That son was picked up by the police, and returned to me. I paid the legal fees, bore the brunt of caring for a son who was violent and abusive to me because his father was encouraging it, and tanked my career (again) to clean up the mess that my ex created.
When it went to court, my ex tried to give me a portion of an annuity that he put the pension into, but didn’t want to pay any of the fees that he would incur for such a move. The amount he wanted to give me was far less than what the pension was that he took, and he wanted me to count that as alimony, which is illegal under US tax law.
Nor did he want to pay anything else — especially alimony and educational fees for my children.
He’s an active and temple-attending member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, despite not paying us what he legally owes us for nearly 10 years now. That means that he is paying the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints 10% of his income, while he refuses to pay for his children’s educational and medical expenses.
I recently pointed that out to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, after they approached me about his financial duties to us. Since I got threats from emissaries of his within hours of them contacting me, I also requested that they pay my legal fees going forward, and that they provide me with physical protection if they wanted any further information regarding him from me.
I did provide them with a historical summary of what he owes us; I doubt anything comes of it. I think they just wanted plausible deniability because they are going to promote him.
I don’t see any difference in their treatment of this situation and with what happened to Emma Hale Smith. I bore all the legal costs and the physical costs of housing our son until he emancipated himself at 18, and most of the legal costs of trying to get my wasband to pay us what he owed us, while the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints profited off of the situation.
